“When you are in the grips of the archetype, you don’t have it; it has you”
When you are in the grips of the archetype, you don’t have it; it has you. Carl Jung Here I explore whether I own my identity or whether it owns me, for if I cling on too tightly to an identity it may over control my behaviours. I am guided here by understandings gained from…
THE SELF
MY INTEGRATIVE APPROACH part2 An archetypal image of one’s fullest potential and the unity of the personality. The self is our god within ourselves. The process by which we achieve the goal of realisation of self is individuation. The person who is all animus or all anima is like an egg without a yolk. This…
MY COUNSELLING APPROACHES
MY COUNSELLING APPROACHES MY INTEGRATIVE PRACTICE The person Centred approach to counselling is I suggest the safest and most grounded approach from which to begin counselling. In that Carl Rogers suggests ‘ground rules’ which by themselves he suggests are core conditions for change. These are: 1. Empathy: this is the ability to appreciate and understand…
Stories shape lives
(Correlations with Buddhism) As humans we understand and deal with our experiences by constructing stories and by listening to the stories of others. Our experience is filled with meaning and stories, it is these, rather than logic that communicates our true beliefs. Narrative or narratives are the way we organise, explain or understand our experiences…
The Remains of Adolescence
Revisited/Expanded The difficulty of adolescence (-apart from the living through it-) are the vestiges or remains of the ego states that guided our thinking then and the parts of these get left behind to form our psyche as we move into maturity. What we do or did as younger people profoundly affects us in later…
GESTALT
is an holistic approach to human functioning; the mind, body, emotions and spirit entwined as an interactive whole, constantly working to achieve balance. An individual’s personal growth is encouraged through development of self-awareness and self-support for appropriate, spontaneous and creative contact with others. The learning and application of Gestalt Therapy is experientially based and…
Guidelines on Confidentiality & Setting goals
Guidelines on Confidentiality & Setting goals When clients share personal and confidential information it is important before anything is said that you explain what is meant by confidentiality; this includes: An agreement that anything that is said will remain confidential between you and them, that you will not disclose to anyone else the matters that…
Do Not Fear Being Alone, relationships
One reason why we continue to stay in unhealthy relationships is because we are afraid of being alone. We would rather be with someone that mistreated us or causes discomfort than to be by ourselves. So instead of perhaps waiting for the right person to come along, they grab hold of the person that is…
At work
Creating a better Workplace To resolve conflict, communicate with each other on a one-to-one equal basis and avoid behaviour that will break down communication. At work an environment for healthy conflict can be encouraged by setting clear expectations. Create an organizational culture or environment in which differences of opinion are encouraged. Make differences the expectation…
Co-dependency
Co-dependency is: A dysfunctional relationship with ourselves based upon an outer or external dependence, by giving power over our self-esteem to sources outside ourselves. It is properly a dis-ease of lost self: If we are not validated and affirmed for who we are in childhood then we don’t believe we are worthy in our own…
Chapter 20 Types of therapy
Behavioural TherapyBehavioural therapy helps you to unlearn self-defeating patterns and habits in your day-to-day actions. It teaches you new, healthy skills and ways of reacting to situations that trigger anxiety. Behavioural therapy is action based. It assumes that if you can learn to change your behaviour, then your thoughts, feelings, and attitudes will change too.…
Existentialism
EXISTENTIALISM Latin “Existere” – “to stand out, to become or to emerge” Martin HEIDEGGER research assistant to HUSSERL, mostly unreadable, between the wars. Roots are in writings of Soren Kerkegaard and Frederick Nietzsche. (Good book is “Existentialism” (1970) by Mary Warnock, Oxford Univ. Press.) They and the other main E. philosophers both demonstrate the principal intention…
Working as a Therapist or Counsellor
Illusion and Collusion. From personal experience of working with clients, supervising others and the teaching (and/or training) of Counsellors I recognise how easily Counsellors find themselves colluding with clients. New Counsellors quickly can find themselves being ‘experts’ or cast in the role of ‘magician.’ No matter how good any training is, how prepared Counsellors are…
STRUCTURING OF TIME Chapter 18
Transactional analysis understandings: Being bored for a long time hastens emotional and physical deterioration in much the same way as inadequate stroking does. To avoid the pain of boredom, people seek something to do with their time. As Berne says: The eternal problem of the human being is how to structure his waking hours. Through…
Transactional Analysis
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS CONTENTS HISTORY AND ASSUMPTIONS 1 EGO STATES 2 TRANSACTIONS 7 STROKING 13 LIFE POSITIONS 15 16 TRADING STAMPS AND RACKETS STRUCTURING OF TIME 18 PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS OF TA 25 CONCLUSION 26 GLOSSARY OF TERMS 28 BIBLIOGRAPHY 31 TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS HISTORY AND ASSUMPTIONS Transactional…
KNOWING YOURSELF
Chapter 15 a Personality How you see yourself and how others see you may be very different. To help you discover more about yourself try this questionnaire from Hans Eysenck (from Know Your Own Personality, 1972) Eysenck explored and wrote about the personality traits introversion and extraversion and suggested that these combined with the level…
types of therapy
Chapter 15 Behavioural TherapyBehavioural therapy helps you to unlearn self-defeating patterns and habits in your day-to-day actions. It teaches you new, healthy skills and ways of reacting to situations that trigger anxiety. Behavioural therapy is action based. It assumes that if you can learn to change your behaviour, then your thoughts, feelings, and attitudes…
Understanding Loss and Bereavement
Chapter 14 Understanding Loss and Bereavement Many times we can be living with bereavement and not even know it. Bereavement is like a marinade in that we are so permeated by it that we no longer notice how it affects us. All of us will die and all of us try to find ways to…
Chapter 13: Anger
Anger I was on a train, the only space left was next to a poorly dressed large man who had a rucksack, his feet and dog sitting on the empty seat opposite. I sat reading my newspaper aware of others getting on the train seeing the space but not wanting to confront the man or…
The Remains of Adolescence
Chapter 12 The Remains of Adolescence The difficulty of adolescence (-apart from the living through it-) are the vestiges or remains of the ego states that guided our thinking then and the parts of these get left behind to form our psyche as we move into maturity. What we do or did as younger people…
Case Study
The following case study is intended for Psychotherapists/Counsellors & Social Work students to analyse & work on the issues presented.
Change principles
These are useful for thinking about learning new skills, maybe you’ve recently learned that you sabotage yourself in relationships by moving too fast, too slow or having expectations very different from your partners’ At first you may not know that you do this: Unconscious Incompetence. Then you meet somebody who tells you what you do…
Blocks to Happiness
chapter 11 Try these questions;Why am I unhappy? Try changing ‘unhappy’ for the word that expresses your bad feelings or the feeling you’d like to change. You need to be as specific as possible to get closer to your deepest feelings. Then:What is it about X, that makes me unhappy? This is still about narrowing…
Chapter 10: How to make love stay
How to make love stay; A bit of a guide for happiness and possibly, long term Loving. Long Term Love shows us the importance of being understood and accepted as we are, reminding us that relationship and passion make life mean something. Personal growth is a lifelong process and to keep love alive you’ll need…
Chapter 9(b)
Resistance is useless… Resistance is attachment to outcomes; attachment to (any) outcomes creates suffering if you do not get the outcome you want. Happiness and peace comes from preferring the outcome you want but not being attached to it. If the outcome you get is not what you want, it is possible to remain happy…
Chapter 9 (a)
Money Do’s and Don’ts If money is what you value then money will make you happy. Though for the rest of us the objects, things, the stuff we buy only seems to satisfy us for a little time, then the desire cycle begins again, we want, we buy and then tire of our new stuff.…
listening part 2
Chapter 8 part two Listening to Understand Or What can get in the way of understanding? If we want to listen to and understand others, especially in emotionally charged situations, we have to break from preconceived ideas to overcome our reactions. Consider your own assumptions; What assumptions am I making … About this project ……
Chapter 8: Dynamic Listening
Dynamic listening involves actively connecting with others through effective questioning and empathy, fostering clarity and understanding. It emphasizes the use of open-ended questions to encourage discussion and minimizes anxiety. By being considerate and open in communication, one can enhance interpersonal interactions and support others in resolving their issues.
Chapter 7
Promises, dreams and You Write the hunches or feelings you have followed in the last week. (—O—) Am I rich in family? Do I devote my time to my spouse and children to build a strong, happy family that is rewarding.. Am I rich in friends? Do I cultivate friendship and am I a joy…
Chapter 6
keeping a Journal This next section is a little deeper and here I want to work with you on developing the Encyclopedia of you. Building your Personal Skills knowledge and toward a deeper understanding of what makes you tick. Dip in and out, take what suits and leave the rest for another time. Maybe skim…
