Transactional analysis understandings:
Being bored for a long time hastens emotional and physical deterioration in much the same way as inadequate stroking does. To avoid the pain of boredom, people seek something to do with their time.
As Berne says:
The eternal problem of the human being is how to structure his waking hours.
Through observation of dyad and group transactions, 6 ways in which people structure time have been distinguished by TA practitioners.
1. Withdrawal
People can withdraw themselves from others either by removing themselves physically
or by removing themselves psychologically by withdrawing into their fantasies.
Withdrawal can come from any of the 3 ego states.
Withdrawing is sometimes a rational Adult decision. People need to be alone, to relax, to
think their own thoughts, to take stock of themselves. Even withdrawal into fantasy may
be a better use of time than listening to a bad lecture.
Withdrawing is sometimes based on copying parents. For example, a man threatened by
conflict with his wife may withdraw as his father did when his mother got annoyed.
Withdrawal patterns also come from the Child ego state. These are often replays of a
personal childhood adaptation out of the necessity for self-protection from pain or conflict.
They may also be the result of training.
There are many reasons for withdrawal; everyone withdraws into fantasy from time to time.
However, all the reasons can usually be traced to a desire not to be in the here and now
situations.
2. Rituals
Ritual transactions are simple and stereotyped complementary transactions like everyday
hellos and goodbyes. Someone who says, ‘Good morning, how are you?’ is, in most
instances, not really enquiring into the person’s health and feelings, but instead is expecting
to receive a ritualistic response, ‘Fine, how are you?’
In this brief encounter both persons get maintenance strokes. A response that breaks the
ritual by being too brief or too full will disturb the relationship. Rituals of this sort grease
the wheels of social interchange, they allow maintenance strokes without the threat of real
intimacy.
Some groups – church groups, political parties, secret orders and social clubs – structure a
great deal of time with highly ritualistic patterns of behaviour. Other groups are less
structured using their time in other ways. For many people rituals become a way of life.
3. Activities
Activities are ways of structuring time that deal with external reality and are commonly
thought of as work, getting something done. Activities are often what people want to do,
need to do, or have to do – alone or with others.
When an activity comes to an end, a person frequently feels empty, restless or useless. This problem comes into sharp awareness when certain time structuring activities, such as caring or children, going to school or going to work, come to an abrupt end.
Activities shared between people can be programmed or spontaneous. They may be parallel, such as eating, reading and writing (activity and withdrawal are the only 2 ways in which a solitary individual can structure time) or co-operative, such as squash or chess.
4. Pastimes
Pastime transactions are those in which people pass time with one another by talking about innocuous subjects. Pastimes are relatively safe, these superficial exchanges are often used between people who do not know each other well. For example at a dinner party, it is not uncommon for the men to pass the time talking about occupations, cars, sport, or motorcycles while women pass the time talking about how well their children are doing.
Pastimes, as well as rituals, are ways people spend time together politely without getting
involved at a deeper level. They provide the opportunity for people to ‘psyche’ each other
out for the possibility of further involvement.
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5. Games
It was Eric Berne’s analysis of psychological games in his best seller Games People Play
that first brought TA to the attention of the public. This was unfortunate in a way because
a great deal of superficial interest in games developed, without much serious thought as to
what lay behind them, nor equivalent interest in other areas of TA.
People play psychological games with one another that are similar to games like monopoly,
bridge, or chess, which people play at social gatherings. The players must know the game
in order to play – after all, if one person enters a card party ready to play bridge, and everyone else is playing strip poker, that person cannot very well play bridge – and as this example also suggests, others must be willing to play.
All games have a beginning, a given set of rules, and a concluding payoff. Psychological
games, however, have an ulterior purpose. They are not played for fun – but the, of course,
neither are some card games or sports. Berne defined a psychological game in the following
way:
A game is an on-going series of complementary ulterior transactions progressing to a well defined, predictable outcome. Descriptively it is a recurring set of transactions, often repetitious, superficially plausible, with a concealed motivation; or more colloquially, a series of moves with a snare of gimmick.
There are 3 specific elements which must be present to define transactions as games:
first, an ongoing series of complementary transactions which are plausible on the social
level; secondly, an ulterior transaction which is the underlying message of the game; and
thirdly, a predictable payoff which concludes the game and is the real purpose of playing.
Games are transactions between people which are always destructive to at least one of the
players, and which leave feelings of being Not OK. Games prevent honest, open and
intimate relationships between the players. Yet people play them because they fill up time,
provoke attention, reinforce life positions, add to the stamp collection and fulfil a sense of
destiny.
Psychological games are played to win but sometimes a person acts like a loser in order to
win the game. For example, in the game of Kick Me (games tend to be given colloquial
names – the value of this is that a colloquial name more clearly describes the game than a
technical name would) a player provokes someone else to a put down response.
The Kick Me player is a person who goes around always getting into trouble and apparently
inviting it. She/he feels life has always been against her/him. She/he feels Not OK and looks for confirmation of her/his feelings by getting into Kick Me games. When she/he is in difficulties the last thing she/he wants is for people to sympathise and help. If there is danger that they may do this, the player will work hard to push them beyond the limits of their patience and then sit back and wait for the kicks. A common device of the Kick Me player is to agree to take on much more than she/he can possibly cope with and then mess it up.
Over 100 different games have been described and a classification system has been developed. Many of the names clearly express the game.
While we can get a certain amount of amusement learning to spot games, it must be remembered that this a serious business – people are being left feeling Not OK and the extent of the damage depends on the degree of the game:
a First Degree Game is one which is socially acceptable in the agent’s circle;
a Second Degree Game is one from which no permanent, irremediable damage arises, but which the players would rather conceal from the public; and a Third Degree Game is one which is played for keeps and which ends in hospital, court or the morgue.
Games are individually programmed. They are played from the Parent ego state if the Parents’ games are imitated. They are played from the Adult ego state if they are consciously calculated. They are played from the Child ego state if they are based on early life experiences, decisions and the ‘positions’ that a child takes about self and others.
To fully appreciate the idea of games Games People Play should be consulted.
6. Intimacy
In TA, intimacy is that relationship between 2 people which can exist independently of al other means of structuring time. The other, defensive ways of structuring time are rendered unnecessary and intimate relationships involve spontaneous expressions rather than responses to socially programmed rituals.
Intimacy, which is based on the I’m OK/You’re OK basic position, is game-free as goals are never ulterior. It grows as people dare to risk greater openness, learn to be emotionally present to each other and develop a high degree of caring for one another through a climate of trust based on commitment.
Intimacy is a relationship in which the Adult is in charge of all those concerned and it allows the emergence of the Natural Child (that part of the Child which is creative, spontaneous, curious, aware, free of fear) as opposed to the Adapted Child (that part adapted to the original civilising demands of the Parent).
The notion of intimacy as the ideal way to structure time does not involve a complete dismissal of withdrawal, pastimes, rituals, activities of even games.
The first 4 of these are not necessarily harmful unless they assume undue predominance.
Withdrawal can be a good way to unwind. Pastimes can be a useful and enjoyable means of spending time at social occasions. Rituals are a safe way of negotiating potentially trying situations.
Activity, which includes work, is almost essential in society as we know it; it also provides fulfilment through the application of skills and talents.
Games, however, are nearly always destructive.
WAYS TO STOP PLAYING GAMES
Games may be foiled by a refusal to play the expected hand or a refusal to give a payoff. For example, refusing to give advice or suggestions to a yes, but player usually stops the game.
There are many ways to stop a game.
A person may:
Give an unexpected response.
Stop exaggerating her/his own weaknesses or strengths.
Stop exaggerating the weaknesses and strengths of others.
Give and receive positive strokes – gold stamps – rather than negative strokes – grey stamps.
Structure more of her/his time with activities, intimacy and fun.
Stop playing Rescuer – helping those who don’t need help.
Stop playing Persecutor – criticising those who don’t need it.
Stop playing Victim – acting helpless or dependant when really able to stand on her/his own
2 feet.
If a person decides to give up games she/he must first become aware of the games she/he initiates and takes part in. Having identified her/his roles in them she/he must interrupt them, avoid them, and, eventually, give them up.
PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS OF TA
One of the advantages of TA is that it has immediate practical applications. In this section some of the ways in which it can be applied personally and interpersonally will be briefly considered.
1. Personal
Once we start learning about our ego states, we often find there are parts of them that we
would like to use more easily and more often. TA gives a number of options to us for getting in tough with these behaviours and for changing unproductive patters.
Are we chained to unproductive Parent messages and Child behaviours which have been
carried over into our adult life, ie is our Adult contaminated? If so, once we are aware, we
can choose to change.
We need an understanding of our ego states before we can examine the productive and
unproductive elements of each of them. Awareness is the first step toward change.
Awareness can eventually allow us to free our Natural Child, to let the positive Child
qualities come through. The Natural Child helps us to enjoy our experience to transfer
our enthusiasm to others, to appreciate creativity and new ideas.
When we are able to give greater freedom to our Natural Child, we often will find that not
only are we more in tough with our feelings but also that our relationships with other
people will be more genuine and productive as well.
2. Interpersonal
We can examine our stroke pattern and see if we give as many strokes as we think we do
we do, and whether our strokes are appropriate and freely given, or conditional in some say.
Are we set in certain stroke patterns, where we always stroke the Child of our students and
the Parent of our superiors?
Likewise, we need to look at how we receive strokes – do we accept them or reject them?
What difference would it make to our relationship with the givers if we started accepting
strokes that we have previously rejected?
Which ego state do we experience most often in the classroom? Is this the one in which
we feel we should be? If not, why not, and what can be done about?
With knowledge of our rackets, we can ask oourselves what kind of games are we playing
with those in charge of us and those for whom we are responsible. Are we initiating games
or merely being hooked into those of the people around us. How are we going to break out of our games?
Most obviously, we can examine our own typical work transactions and see if they satisfy us as being flexible and appropriate to the situations in which we find ourselves.
Are we too often operating from our Parent or our Adult? What is our favourite ego state
when relating to: colleagues, superiors, students?
With practice we can begin to apply TA to our interactions with other people, developing
more flexibility and social control and reducing the amount of manipulation and Not Okness.
If we look at our organisations as a whole, we can describe our college, our department or
our section in TA terms:
Is it very Parental – if so does this come out in nurturing, rule-setting or controlling?
Does our organisation cope with the need to express the Free Child – is it sometimes a
fun organisation?
Is our organisation strokey or non-strokey? If it does seem to encourage a lot of strokes, are they positive or negative, conditional or unconditional?
Is our organisation in the position of I’m OK/You’re OK? If not, which position does it occupy?
Whatever the situation, the important point is that we as individuals have the power to begin to change.
CONCLUSION
This has been of necessity a very brief survey of TA theory. A number of firms have found it a very useful way of improving the way people work and relate to each other, and claim improvements in efficiency as well as the happiness of their employees.
Many more individuals have found in TA a way of making sense of their lives, and have been able to make changes which have brought them towards or into the state of I’m OK/You’re OK.
It is a relatively simple system to understand in outline, though the working our of its implications for a particular individual may take many years of increasingly deep insights.
GLOSSARY OF TERMS USED IN TRANSACTIONALY ANALYSIS
Activities Ways of structuring time that deal with external reality and are
commonly thought of as work, getting something done.
Adapted Child Second level structural analysis of the Child Ego State. That part
which modifies Natural Child responses in the light of experience of
others.
Adult Ego State One of the 3 primary ego states – the one concerned with computing
and analysing.
Boundary Lesions Sore points caused by childhood trauma which manifest themselves
in gross over-reaction to the reality of a stimulus.
Bullseye Stimulus that successfully hooks all 3 of the other’s ego states.
Child Ego State One of the 3 primary ego states – the one concerned with the impulses
and emotions that come naturally to an infant and the tapes of her/his
early experiences.
Complementary A transaction in which the stimulus and response match each other, eg
Transaction P->C, C->P; A<->A; P<->P; C<->C.
Contamination The invasion of the Adult Ego State by Parent or Child, so that Parent
or Child data is presented as though it is Adult.
Contract The decision by the Adult to achieve something with realistic
knowledge of how it is to be done. Widely used in therapy.
Critical Parent Second level structural analysis of Parent Ego State. That part which
sets rules, controls, punishes.
Crossed A transaction in which the stimulus does not receive the expected
Transaction response, eg A->A followed by P->C.
Cultural Scripts Scripts in which life plans of individuals are laid down by the culture
in which they live.
Discounts Either lack of attention or negative attention that hurts emotionally or
physically. Strokes received can be discounted by oneself. Other
people can be ignored or given negative strokes.
Drama Analysis The analysis of a number of transactions in terms of exchanging roles
of Rescuer, Persecutor and Victim.
Drivers Messages absorbed in childhood which remain as driving forces. Can
be reduced to 4 or 5: Hurry up. Be perfect. Please me. Be strong.
Try hard.
Exclusion The building up of psychic energy exclusively in one ego state,
excluding the others by rigid ego boundaries.
Executive The ego state a person is in at a given moment
Family Script Life script laid down by family for individual within it.
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First Degree Game First degree is socially acceptable in the agent’s circle. Second degree
(Second, Third …) is generally concealed but no permanent damage arises, and third
degree is played for keeps.
Free Child Second level structural analysis of Child ego state. That part which is
in its untouched form with basic feelings of joy, frustration, etc.
Gallows Initiated by a gallows laugh at own or other’s tragedy, thus confirming
Transaction the injunction behind the behaviour and tightening the noose.
Game The way of structuring time which involves an on-going series of
complementary ulterior transactions that lead to a well defined,
predictable outcome.
Hook A stimulus which has an ulterior message which pulls in or hooks
another person’s ego state. It is most frequently seen in games.
Injunction A prohibition or negative command from a parent.
Intimacy The way of structuring time that is a game-free exchange of emotional
expression without exploitation.
Introjective Position The position of I;m not OK, You’re OK.
Karpman Triangle The triangle of Rescuer, Persecutor and Victim.
Life Positions The psychological positions taken about oneself and others.
Life Script The life plan that an individual feels compelled to play out.
Little Professor Second order structural analysis of Child ego state. The creative and
manipulative part of the Child.
Natural Child See Free Child
Nurturing Parent Second order structural analysis of Parent ego state. That part which
supports and helps.
OK – Not OK The 2 variables in life positions.
Parent Ego State One of the 3 primary ego states – the one concerned with nurturing,
rule-setting and controlling.
Pastimes A way of structuring time by innocuous talking with others. The level
is safe and superficial.
Payoff The predictable outcome of a game.
Permission The statement to the Adult of a subject that she/he is allowed to reject
part of his script.
Prescriptions A set of precepts offered from the Nurturing Parent.
Projective Position The position of I’m OK, You’re Not OK.
Put Down Negative Stroke
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Rackets The favourite bad feelings we have (eg jealousy, anger) which we
work to have justified, particularly via games.
Redemption Time Time when trading stamps are traded in for a favourite feeling
expressed in behaviour.
Ritual A way of structuring time through simple and stereotyped
complementary transactions.
Strokes Strokes are any act of implying recognition of another’s presence
and can be negative or positive, conditional and unconditional.
Structural Analysis Analysis of personality in terms of PAC.
Sweat Shirt A life motto which is apparent from the person’s demeanour in public.
Message
Tapes The recorded experience of the individual of all that has happened to
her/him, stored for replay in the brain and nervous tissue.
Time Structuring The ways of filling the waking hours.
Trading Stamps Favourite feelings collected as the payoff in games, which are cashed
in to enable indulgence in a justified behaviour.
Transaction What happens when 2 people meet and communicate with each other.
Ulterior An underlying transaction of ego states other than those involved in the
Transaction apparent transaction. Generally found in games.
Withdrawal A way of structuring time by removing oneself physically or mentally from others.
Neil Benbow
(c)neilbenbow2026
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