by rights I think I should have some feelings about you

you being the man took my mother away from me, leaving this small child bereft, lost & lonely.

you being focussed on only you, your love & needs

& yes you might say you were rescuing her from johns violence but that seems weak to me when you were leaving two kids in that violence & the mess you created

but then I see parallels to another one a lot like you

you wanted my mother but didn’t want me

gilly my stepmother wanted my father but not me

the saving grace for you being that you weren’t around in my life to visit your feelings upon me.

can’t say I remember much about you,

though joyce told me once: you know he loves you?

& I didn’t know what to say, having not felt anything from you at all, except maybe a slight resent that I was another call upon her time.

seems an odd love, you going away with her for a second time, leaving no forwarding address, no goodbye no nothing.

two abandonments you aided & abetted

just silence

& that’s how I think of you now

as silence

somebody else I didn’t know that caused havoc in my life