nothing caught

held me close

going through my days

people places smokey rooms

watching for something

might help me feel

girls women the booze

such is memory

all i remember is

the waiting for life

to catch hold of me

reporting all this

in spider scrawl

cheap notebooks

& then the minutes

finding a warm body

beginning to build

one block at a time

recording moments

of joy & fun together

to find either one of us

not having the momentum

to continue & grow

the sadness of return

the base rock of me

my only reward

was in picking up

how not to let love slide

the next time